Giving young people the facts on how NOT TO get pregnant and how NOT TO catch a disease is really important – we are not arguing that. But what about all the HOW TO’s that they really want to know about? And the HOW TO’s we wish WE had known about much earlier than we did?
What about all the conversations about love, connection, joy, orgasmic delight, exploration, respect, attraction, experimentation and PLEASURE, PLEASURE, PLEASURE!!!
Why are we not having those conversations?
We believe there are a lot of very talented educators doing an amazing job at helping our children stay safe as they explore their sexuality – by teaching them about unwanted pregnancy, STI’s, cyber safety and gender fluidity.
But we also believe there is space for a much bigger conversation and better education. Education that explores the dynamics of pleasure, the fundamentals of healthy relationships & clear communication. Education that is honest, and FUN. Education that has a foundation in comprehensive anatomy & physiology – taught in a way that is memorable, real & applicable.
In a world where the pop stars closely resemble the porn stars, and our sexual role models and mentors most likely ARE porn stars, teaching young people that sexuality can be fun, funny, awkward, joyful & natural seems to be an imperative.
We have to make healthy sexuality as appealing as it’s unrealistic porn culture counterpart.
And it’s not just us that think this way.
Susan Gilbert, co-director of The National Coalition for Sexual Health says it beautifully:
“We have to make healthy behaviors desirable by using creative, humorous, and positive appeals. We don’t use negative, fear-based messaging to promote products, and we can’t use it to promote behaviors,”
According to a recent survey conducted by YEAH, (Youth Empowerment Against HIV/AIDS) more than half of all Australian high school students said they were unhappy with the current model of sex ed – saying that the internet was their first port of call for info.
And what information are they looking for?
In a Toronto survey, healthy relationships and sexual pleasure were the top 2 issues issues for teens.
We know that’s a tough conversation to have. We are parents as well. But we also know the dangers of not having these conversations. Many studies have proven that failing to include pleasure and relationships on the sex ed agenda lead to severely adverse outcomes when negotiating safe sex. If young people are denied critical knowledge of their own bodies and pleasure potential, they are unable to navigate their sexual fears and desires.
It’s simple really: If you know what feels good for you, and how to ask for it, you are far more likely to refuse anything that does not meet that standard.
We believe that by helping young people view their sexuality as pleasurable, natural & fun, we will enable them to make empowered and safe sexual choices with ease.